The Baby Whisperer Vol 12: Sorry seems to be the Hardest Word

by Joan Marie on February 20, 2012

I think Elton John had it right when he sang how “sorry seems to be the hardest word”. Both children and adults have an especially difficult time admitting wrong or harm done. And one of the most difficult things for anyone to say is “I’m sorry” and mean it. An apology is the beginning of reconciliation, but it is much more than just a basic five-letter word.

It is often very easy to offend or hurt another. In fact, a lot of times we may say or do something unintentionally but the ramifications can leave a lasting and hurtful impression. So how does one truly apologize?

In addition to leading by example, it is a good idea to teach your child at an early age the true meaning of “sorry”. That begins with an apology, identifying what you may have done wrong, and then rectifying the situation by asking the offended party how you can make amends. Remember that the words, “I’m sorry” mean nothing if they are merely empty words.

A wonderful teaching tool for compassion includes having the offending child to write out the wrong that he or she may have done. Next, ask the child to put himself in the place of the person he may have hurt. Now ask him to write out the feelings that he would have experienced if he had been the one on the receiving end of the harm done.

Another fine way to help your child understand the meaning of sorry is to simply ask her, “How would you feel if…?” and end the sentence with the specific offense. Children (and even adults) do not always think about the repercussions of their actions…or even inactions.

There are always insightful lessons that can be learned to encourage greatness and love. What lessons have you gained today to make a positive impact on your child?

© Sorry seems to be the Hardest Word
February 2012
By Joan Marie the Gift, Intuition Girl

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The Baby Whisperer Vol 11: Little Mommies and Careers

by Joan Marie on October 21, 2011

Have you ever noticed young girls at play? They tend to nurture their dolls like little mommies. They carry their “babies” around like prized possessions, dressing and redressing them, feeding them, “teaching” them, rocking them to sleep and even singing to them at times. It is a wondrous site to see. And for many women, this is the ideal vision in life: to have a career, marriage, children…the whole nine yards. We want it all!

But for some women, the transition from childhood to parenthood does not come so easily. The idea of pregnancy coupled with the thoughts of caring for a small, helpless infant can be frightful and filled with anxiety. It is nerve-wrecking to women in some cases – especially if she is working in a high-pressure career where she has deadlines to meet, daily conferences and monthly business travels. How does the little mommy inside transform the anxiety of potential parenthood into a natural state of harmony for all parties concerned?

The initial step to freeing the little mommy inside you is to decide first if motherhood is something that you really want. Not all women are molded to be moms – and that is perfectly fine. There are no judgments to be made, only personal choices that are right for you and your situation. If you are in a serious relationship and you and your significant other have decided to move toward the next step of having a child (or if you have personally decided to have a child on your own), then you need to rise above your professional circumstance and own the goal that you want to achieve. When you choose to become a mom, it is a big step so you must create balance in your life in order that you and baby can grow in harmony.

“I want to have a child but I am unsure how I am going to handle juggling work and family.” That is probably one of the most commonly asked questions career women ask themselves when debating whether or not to have a child. It is okay to ask that question. It is perfectly normal and not an uncommon fear at all. Luckily, many women have taken the leap and have fit quite nicely in their new dual roles. The one thing that you can be certain about is that when you do bring a new life into the world, he will be sure to love you. And when that love is reciprocated, the bonds of mother and child are inseparable – whether you are at work or at home, baby will know you are never far from his heart.

Another way to look at parenthood as well is as an opportunity to rise up and expand your legacy in life rather than as a challenge. This is one of the bigger issues on which women tend to dwell. “Raising a family and working can be quite the challenge.” If you tell yourself that enough, it will become more of a task and chore, and no longer will it be enjoyable or worthwhile. But if you tell yourself, “Raising a family and working has broadened my horizons and blessed me in so many ways,” you are linking your position with a sense of satisfaction and connectivity to the world around you. It truly is all in the perception of what you envision your role to be. Yes, you can bring the little mommy out in you if you choose to do so and enjoy it whole-heartedly whilst reaping the rewards of a gratifying career.

Until we speak again,

I am Joan Marie, Your Intuition Girl

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The Baby Whisperer Vol 10: Motherhood

by Joan Marie on October 18, 2011

What is it?

What does it mean?

What does it involve?

No one ever told me what being a mother actually meant. I observed my Mother but could feel her distance at times… I could sense her feelings of lack and doubt even though we were more than comfortable and provided for. Sometimes I was aware of her discomfort and uneasiness even though she had many friends with whom she could share her thoughts. Even so, she did not want to share those thoughts with me. At times, I had felt isolation… so how do I become a responsible, nurturing mother myself someday?

Many women have had some or all of the abovementioned experiences in their lives. But still they desire to be the woman who cares and who wants to do and be the right person capable and willing to bring a new life into the world. Where do they seek guidance, advice and straight talk to begin the task of shaping themselves into the mothers they want to become?

When you feel as if you have no channel to express your fears, doubts or concerns about your potentiality as a mother, you need to dig deep within the core of your being so that you can find the strength and resolve to lay your fears, doubts or concerns to rest. Some excellent mental tools that work really well include meditation CDs and relaxation techniques like yoga, visualization, or deep breathing exercises. I personally like mirror exercises that allow you to ask your authentic self the burning questions that have been hindering you from moving forward. You might surprise yourself at some of the answers that your inner being is capable of extracting and giving to you through the Universal flow of energy.

Of course, one-on-one coaching or counseling therapies can also act as a productive means to helping you lift all the negative energies and patterns so that you can begin to wrap your head around the fact that you are born with the gift to give and nurture life as a mother. Remember too, no two mothers are identical. Each one of us emits certain life variables including environmental, cultural, generational, creeds, religious beliefs, hereditary, rites of passage, etc. The exponential functions are the same: different times, different places, different values – but the bonds of love are unwavering.

So even if your mom may not have been the June Cleaver of “Leave it to Beaver” or presumed supermom, Kelly Rippa, it does not mean that you cannot become the mom you have always desired to become. Get to the heart of the matter and learn to be you first, and the rest will come easy.

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The Baby Whisperer Vol 9: From Peer Pressure to Perseverance

by Joan Marie on July 19, 2011

There was a Dodge commercial a few years back that emphasized originality; more so, it highlighted the importance of being “different” and standing apart from the crowd. Children and young adults often find themselves in a place where they feel like they must be like the rest of the crowd to fit in… sometimes caving into peer pressure even when it’s the wrong path. When you notice that your child is trying to find her identity among her peers, it is generally a good idea to begin guiding her in a steady and healthy way.

Help her to feel good about herself by nurturing her talents so that she can strive and thrive in school, at home and at work in the future. Explain to her that there is no “snowflake-cutout” image perfect for her, but rather that she should design her life the way she sees fit and not what others may dictate to her. When she understands that you are going to be the rock on which she can lean, she will feel emboldened to be courageous, strong and determined in her abilities and to help her be unique.

What many young children and teens do not realize is that eventually, they will be adults in the real world. To them, everything is complex… from school, to friends, to teachers, homework, socializing, parents, extended family, siblings, dreams, goals, studies, dating… there is no end in sight sometimes. In matters that often create massive emotional strains, teenagers are quickly overwhelmed. While they may be smiling on the outside, their hearts may be breaking internally. This is where a mother’s (or father’s) intuition can really begin to pay off. When we can look beyond the mask that our growing child has placed upon her face, we can easily head off negativity at the pass. Get a feel for her daily routine – her likes, her dislikes, her friends, her schoolwork, her habits, her behavior, her teachers and her extracurricular activities. By knowing our children, we can begin to understand what it is they need from us to move beyond their inhibitions.

Practice listening so that you can hear what she is saying to you. When I say that, I mean that you have to develop an ear for discovering her innermost feelings. It is by no means an easy task. Even watching their body language is vital for you to understand and know your child better. As parents, we desperately try to do everything and anything within our means to create a loving and solid environment, but even in our best attempts to do so, we may not always see through the veil. We may even unintentionally smother them if we try too hard. So how does one help her child to be “different” in a constructive way? Unconditional love.

Let your child always know that no matter what the circumstance, no matter the challenge, no matter what the case may be, that you will always be there for her. Explain to her that mutual respect and honesty is what you want in your parent-child relationship. Let her know that your door and your heart are always open to her. When she trusts that she can communicate with you, you will be able to help mold your child into the creative and matchless individual that she already is and who she will one day become in a sometimes volatile world.

When she learns that she is different but in a special and loving way, she will feel comfortable about herself, her surroundings and her dreams. Be the mighty oak tree that will shelter her from life’s storms, but do not overshadow her…be strong, but not so rigid that you cannot sway with the currents of the wind. She will love and respect you for it… and in the end, she may just be like Dodge: different…and in a positive and productive way.

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The Baby Whisperer Vol 8:A Penny for your Thoughts

July 13, 2011

Children often live in the land of make-believe. Their worlds are surreal and filled with dreams, imaginary friends and fairytales. And in those dreams, fantasy worlds and fairytales, children often communicate their passions, their fears, their hopes and their overall feelings about the life they have come to know. When you step into their realm, [...]

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The Baby Whisperer Vol 7:Baby Whispering: What’s it all about?

June 19, 2011

Okay, so you have heard about Cesar Milan, the dog whisperer and I am sure you have heard about the movie, “The Horse Whisperer,” starring Robert Redford…but do you know what a “baby whisperer” is? We have seen children whispering amongst themselves as if they were sharing the deepest secret. What if I told you [...]

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The Baby Whisperer Vol 6: Living in Conscientiousness

May 9, 2011

Along your life’s journey, I am sure you have met many significant people; possibly you’ve fallen in love and have been willing to open yourself up to taking the next step in your life by becoming vulnerable to another. How magnificent it is to open yourselves up to an extension of yourselves. But are you [...]

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The Baby Whisperer Vol 5: What Values are You Teaching?

April 8, 2011

Remember when you were little and someone may have said, “Monkey-see, Monkey-do”? Well, everything that you emit through your actions, your words and even your thoughts are being fed into those around you – your children, your siblings, your friends, your coworkers and even your significant other. The funny thing about “monkey-see, monkey-do” is that [...]

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The Baby Whisperer Vol 4: Rebirth…does it exist?

April 8, 2011

Do you believe in the afterlife or rebirth of the Soul? Do you believe that it is possible that a person can regain a life he has lost…or perhaps even transform the life that he is living? Following is a literal example of the Soul’s rebirth: I had once read a story about a man [...]

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The Baby Whisperer Vol 3: Your Children and You: Keys to Strengthen Core Relationships

April 8, 2011

Most conscientious partners want the best for their newborn child, adopted child and even their “furry” four-legged kids. How you choose to set up the emotional environment for bringing baby into the world is not only one of the dynamics to the structure of your child’s emotional awareness, but the essential factor to ensuring your [...]

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