I think Elton John had it right when he sang how “sorry seems to be the hardest word”. Both children and adults have an especially difficult time admitting wrong or harm done. And one of the most difficult things for anyone to say is “I’m sorry” and mean it. An apology is the beginning of reconciliation, but it is much more than just a basic five-letter word.

It is often very easy to offend or hurt another. In fact, a lot of times we may say or do something unintentionally but the ramifications can leave a lasting and hurtful impression. So how does one truly apologize?

In addition to leading by example, it is a good idea to teach your child at an early age the true meaning of “sorry”. That begins with an apology, identifying what you may have done wrong, and then rectifying the situation by asking the offended party how you can make amends. Remember that the words, “I’m sorry” mean nothing if they are merely empty words.

A wonderful teaching tool for compassion includes having the offending child to write out the wrong that he or she may have done. Next, ask the child to put himself in the place of the person he may have hurt. Now ask him to write out the feelings that he would have experienced if he had been the one on the receiving end of the harm done.

Another fine way to help your child understand the meaning of sorry is to simply ask her, “How would you feel if…?” and end the sentence with the specific offense. Children (and even adults) do not always think about the repercussions of their actions…or even inactions.

There are always insightful lessons that can be learned to encourage greatness and love. What lessons have you gained today to make a positive impact on your child?

© Sorry seems to be the Hardest Word
February 2012
By Joan Marie the Gift, Intuition Girl

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

Have you ever noticed young girls at play? They tend to nurture their dolls like little mommies. They carry their “babies” around like prized possessions, dressing and redressing them, feeding them, “teaching” them, rocking them to sleep and even singing to them at times. It is a wondrous site to see. And for many women, this is the ideal vision in life: to have a career, marriage, children…the whole nine yards. We want it all!

But for some women, the transition from childhood to parenthood does not come so easily. The idea of pregnancy coupled with the thoughts of caring for a small, helpless infant can be frightful and filled with anxiety. It is nerve-wrecking to women in some cases – especially if she is working in a high-pressure career where she has deadlines to meet, daily conferences and monthly business travels. How does the little mommy inside transform the anxiety of potential parenthood into a natural state of harmony for all parties concerned?

The initial step to freeing the little mommy inside you is to decide first if motherhood is something that you really want. Not all women are molded to be moms – and that is perfectly fine. There are no judgments to be made, only personal choices that are right for you and your situation. If you are in a serious relationship and you and your significant other have decided to move toward the next step of having a child (or if you have personally decided to have a child on your own), then you need to rise above your professional circumstance and own the goal that you want to achieve. When you choose to become a mom, it is a big step so you must create balance in your life in order that you and baby can grow in harmony.

“I want to have a child but I am unsure how I am going to handle juggling work and family.” That is probably one of the most commonly asked questions career women ask themselves when debating whether or not to have a child. It is okay to ask that question. It is perfectly normal and not an uncommon fear at all. Luckily, many women have taken the leap and have fit quite nicely in their new dual roles. The one thing that you can be certain about is that when you do bring a new life into the world, he will be sure to love you. And when that love is reciprocated, the bonds of mother and child are inseparable – whether you are at work or at home, baby will know you are never far from his heart.

Another way to look at parenthood as well is as an opportunity to rise up and expand your legacy in life rather than as a challenge. This is one of the bigger issues on which women tend to dwell. “Raising a family and working can be quite the challenge.” If you tell yourself that enough, it will become more of a task and chore, and no longer will it be enjoyable or worthwhile. But if you tell yourself, “Raising a family and working has broadened my horizons and blessed me in so many ways,” you are linking your position with a sense of satisfaction and connectivity to the world around you. It truly is all in the perception of what you envision your role to be. Yes, you can bring the little mommy out in you if you choose to do so and enjoy it whole-heartedly whilst reaping the rewards of a gratifying career.

Until we speak again,

I am Joan Marie, Your Intuition Girl

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

What is it?

What does it mean?

What does it involve?

No one ever told me what being a mother actually meant. I observed my Mother but could feel her distance at times… I could sense her feelings of lack and doubt even though we were more than comfortable and provided for. Sometimes I was aware of her discomfort and uneasiness even though she had many friends with whom she could share her thoughts. Even so, she did not want to share those thoughts with me. At times, I had felt isolation… so how do I become a responsible, nurturing mother myself someday?

Many women have had some or all of the abovementioned experiences in their lives. But still they desire to be the woman who cares and who wants to do and be the right person capable and willing to bring a new life into the world. Where do they seek guidance, advice and straight talk to begin the task of shaping themselves into the mothers they want to become?

When you feel as if you have no channel to express your fears, doubts or concerns about your potentiality as a mother, you need to dig deep within the core of your being so that you can find the strength and resolve to lay your fears, doubts or concerns to rest. Some excellent mental tools that work really well include meditation CDs and relaxation techniques like yoga, visualization, or deep breathing exercises. I personally like mirror exercises that allow you to ask your authentic self the burning questions that have been hindering you from moving forward. You might surprise yourself at some of the answers that your inner being is capable of extracting and giving to you through the Universal flow of energy.

Of course, one-on-one coaching or counseling therapies can also act as a productive means to helping you lift all the negative energies and patterns so that you can begin to wrap your head around the fact that you are born with the gift to give and nurture life as a mother. Remember too, no two mothers are identical. Each one of us emits certain life variables including environmental, cultural, generational, creeds, religious beliefs, hereditary, rites of passage, etc. The exponential functions are the same: different times, different places, different values – but the bonds of love are unwavering.

So even if your mom may not have been the June Cleaver of “Leave it to Beaver” or presumed supermom, Kelly Rippa, it does not mean that you cannot become the mom you have always desired to become. Get to the heart of the matter and learn to be you first, and the rest will come easy.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

There was a Dodge commercial a few years back that emphasized originality; more so, it highlighted the importance of being “different” and standing apart from the crowd. Children and young adults often find themselves in a place where they feel like they must be like the rest of the crowd to fit in… sometimes caving into peer pressure even when it’s the wrong path. When you notice that your child is trying to find her identity among her peers, it is generally a good idea to begin guiding her in a steady and healthy way.

Help her to feel good about herself by nurturing her talents so that she can strive and thrive in school, at home and at work in the future. Explain to her that there is no “snowflake-cutout” image perfect for her, but rather that she should design her life the way she sees fit and not what others may dictate to her. When she understands that you are going to be the rock on which she can lean, she will feel emboldened to be courageous, strong and determined in her abilities and to help her be unique.

What many young children and teens do not realize is that eventually, they will be adults in the real world. To them, everything is complex… from school, to friends, to teachers, homework, socializing, parents, extended family, siblings, dreams, goals, studies, dating… there is no end in sight sometimes. In matters that often create massive emotional strains, teenagers are quickly overwhelmed. While they may be smiling on the outside, their hearts may be breaking internally. This is where a mother’s (or father’s) intuition can really begin to pay off. When we can look beyond the mask that our growing child has placed upon her face, we can easily head off negativity at the pass. Get a feel for her daily routine – her likes, her dislikes, her friends, her schoolwork, her habits, her behavior, her teachers and her extracurricular activities. By knowing our children, we can begin to understand what it is they need from us to move beyond their inhibitions.

Practice listening so that you can hear what she is saying to you. When I say that, I mean that you have to develop an ear for discovering her innermost feelings. It is by no means an easy task. Even watching their body language is vital for you to understand and know your child better. As parents, we desperately try to do everything and anything within our means to create a loving and solid environment, but even in our best attempts to do so, we may not always see through the veil. We may even unintentionally smother them if we try too hard. So how does one help her child to be “different” in a constructive way? Unconditional love.

Let your child always know that no matter what the circumstance, no matter the challenge, no matter what the case may be, that you will always be there for her. Explain to her that mutual respect and honesty is what you want in your parent-child relationship. Let her know that your door and your heart are always open to her. When she trusts that she can communicate with you, you will be able to help mold your child into the creative and matchless individual that she already is and who she will one day become in a sometimes volatile world.

When she learns that she is different but in a special and loving way, she will feel comfortable about herself, her surroundings and her dreams. Be the mighty oak tree that will shelter her from life’s storms, but do not overshadow her…be strong, but not so rigid that you cannot sway with the currents of the wind. She will love and respect you for it… and in the end, she may just be like Dodge: different…and in a positive and productive way.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

Children often live in the land of make-believe. Their worlds are surreal and filled with dreams, imaginary friends and fairytales. And in those dreams, fantasy worlds and fairytales, children often communicate their passions, their fears, their hopes and their overall feelings about the life they have come to know.

When you step into their realm, it is the perfect time to encourage your children to voice their opinions in healthy and productive ways. Use the imagination that fills their hearts and souls to build a strong foundation for life and living. After all, our children hold the vision and the future in the palms of their tiny hands. This is why we need to mold them carefully, gently and affectionately with support, love and nourishment that will set them up for success in everything they do.

Give your child food for the soul and heart so that she can seize that nourishment and construct a prosperous, honorable and joy-filled life. Proactively guiding her at a young age by lending a hand in shaping her gifts, thoughts and ideas into productive initiatives is what will give her the insight and the determination to accomplish great things in life. If you teach your child love, she will become loving.

There once was a public service ad that stated, “It shouldn’t hurt to be a child.” No, it should never hurt to be a child – that is for mental and emotional wellness, as well as physical health. This is why you must always rule as a loving mentor to your child. Remember that how you rear your child will be the stepping stones for his future success. Become the bridge to his consciousness and you will teach him to be calm and patient. If you teach your child haste and anger, he will grow to be angry and intolerant.

What dreams does he want to share with you? Are you listening…really listening to what he is saying to you? How are you responding? Do you tell him that you are too busy or you simply do not have the time to share with him or do you place your dreams in front of him and make them adopt them? I know we all sometimes get in a rush to go somewhere or do something, but if you are not hearing his voice and are not responsive to his immediate needs, you are teaching him to give up.

Choose your words and actions very carefully. The child you raise today could possibly be the future leader of tomorrow.

© A Penny for your Thoughts
July 2011
By Joan Marie the Gift, Intuition Girl

About the Author: Joan Marie is the extraordinary lifestyle expert for everyday living. She travels throughout the United States sharing her gifts and her Lifestyle Makeover Programs with solo-preneurs, professionals, small business owners, and large companies. Her Manifestation Method Program and Lifestyle Makeover Programs are designed to help people change their lives. For more information about Joan Marie and her upcoming, exclusive events, please go to: www.joanmariewhelan.com/

Learn more about Certified Master Intuitive Joan Marie Whelan –Intuitive Counseling and Intuition Coaching Specialist

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

Okay, so you have heard about Cesar Milan, the dog whisperer and I am sure you have heard about the movie, “The Horse Whisperer,” starring Robert Redford…but do you know what a “baby whisperer” is?

We have seen children whispering amongst themselves as if they were sharing the deepest secret. What if I told you that inside you is the secret – the inner child that is desperately trying to escape from the confines of your current way of life? Yes, inside you is the “infant” that yearns for love, affection, acceptance and nurturing. As a “baby whisperer”, I am able to speak to that inner child — that innate life force that seeks to be understood so that it can grow and grow to become the you that you are intended to be. There is so much potential that awaits you if you are willing to whisper to that small, helpless infant: “I recognize you. You are special. You are a part of me. Let’s explore this world and this life together.”

For just one moment, I want you to reflect on that small baby…that “little you” that is screaming to break out of its shell. You have been sheltering this tiny infant and have put up a mental barrier to protect it from any potential emotional wounds… or perhaps you have locked that small infant away so that you do not have to open yourself up to the nakedness of who you really are. That is where I come in… through guided meditation, visualization and intuitive coaching, I bring to your life what Cesar Milan and Robert Redford have brought to canines and equines but on a deeper, more spiritual and personal level to help you unleash the powerful energy that resides deep inside you. No longer must you lock away the tiny heartbeat longing to shine in the world…now is your moment, now is your life – are you really ready to live it?

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

Along your life’s journey, I am sure you have met many significant people; possibly you’ve fallen in love and have been willing to open yourself up to taking the next step in your life by becoming vulnerable to another. How magnificent it is to open yourselves up to an extension of yourselves. But are you really prepared to take on this brand new journey?

While you have consciously made the decision to form a new union and cultivate a new beginning, a new chapter in your journey, have you truthfully taken the steps to make sure this new encounter will bear multiple blessings both now and in the future?

Many of us carry the baggage of our youth, our sorrows, our fears, our anxieties and our painful experiences deep within the recesses of our subconscious mind. All of these things have built up over time and we have carried them into our relationships…relationships at work, relationships with friends, relationships with family, and our relationships in love. Now instead of just one laundry list of “stuff”, we have two. If you have already raised your level of awareness to where you are at one with your little you and at one with your adult you, then you are already a step ahead of the game. But is your partner?

As an example, if you have reached a certain level of heightened awareness in your life and you have made peace with your inner self, how can you, as a helpful partner aid in the transitional phase of your significant other? …the transitional phase of going from a couple to a family unit. How do you create the mindset for this new experience and taking on the role of the future parenting? Parenting is a process of nurturing not only the newborn and youth but also giving the physical, social and intellectual support to those that you care about through the sharing of your skills and values. There are a lot of questions to ask yourself before entering into a new phase of your life…especially if you are living in consciousness.

The first step to creating a sense of harmony (in all of your relationships) starts with an open field of communication and trust. To express and exhibit a clear understanding of what is acceptable behavior requires that you must each first teach love and respect of self. With each experience and stage of development each person, child, adult will need to be continually conscious of bestowing self-love and respect, of forgiving oneself and learning not internalize the outcomes and at the same time to emotionally heal yourself from all past challenges. Once you have moved beyond this initial step of self preservation and awareness, the next step is to realize that bringing a new life or a new experience into your world should never be viewed as a burden but as a gift. Each new life and each new experience that enters your world is a brand new Soul being that offers you the opportunity to grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually as you seek your wholeness.

When we choose to live consciously of our actions, our thoughts and our reason for being, we are better prepared to tackle all the challenges that life presents to us.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

Remember when you were little and someone may have said, “Monkey-see, Monkey-do”? Well, everything that you emit through your actions, your words and even your thoughts are being fed into those around you – your children, your siblings, your friends, your coworkers and even your significant other. The funny thing about “monkey-see, monkey-do” is that often, others may unknowingly begin to pick up your habits and behavioral patterns. In some instances, individuals may simply make an example out of you: “Do you see that person over there? Don’t ever act like that.” OR the same holds true in the following statement: “Do you see that person over there? That’s exactly how you need to act.”

The behaviors that you present to others have a lasting impression…especially on your children. Your values, in essence, are carried within you through your actions, words and deeds. When you think of your actions and your words in the last five minutes, the last hour, the last 24 hours, the last four weeks, the last few months or the last couple of years, what comes to mind? Here are 11 questions to ask yourself that might elicit food for thought:

1. Am I teaching anxiety?
2. Am I teaching fear?
3. Am I teaching chaos?
4. Am I teaching order?
5. Am I teaching pride?
6. Am I teaching love?
7. Am I teaching hope?
8. Am I teaching animosity?
9. Am I teaching gratitude?
10. Am I teaching peace?
11. Am I teaching compassion?

When you think about your “values”, are you being true to yourself and true to those around you? Are you being fair to yourself and your authentic state Evaluate your truthfulness on a scale from one to 10. As you are assessing your life and your current lifestyle, what do you recall from your past that may be influencing your present…perhaps even your future?

When you are ready to go within your true essence and forgive yourself you will be better prepared to move forward honestly with yourself. You naturally begin to evolve into a more aware and conscious person, as you connect with your Inner Child, your Authentic Self. As you become more aware and conscious, your “values” also begin to shift and transform into a more wholesome and harmonious way on every level in your life whether you are a parent, a spouse, a manager, a friend, a coworker, and even as a child. In the meantime, what values are you teaching today? It is never too late to strengthen those principles that you value so that you can become a sought after role model.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

Do you believe in the afterlife or rebirth of the Soul? Do you believe that it is possible that a person can regain a life he has lost…or perhaps even transform the life that he is living? Following is a literal example of the Soul’s rebirth: I had once read a story about a man dying from an incurable disease. As it was, he was reborn into another life. In the story, the man spoke about how he agonizingly watched the tearful goodbyes of his loved ones. He recalled a long dark tunnel that he traveled through only to suddenly be brought to a brilliant ball of beckoning light. As the story goes, the man is suddenly surrounded by what appeared to be giants. He is laid into these warm and gentle arms where he automatically feels the bonds of love and utter safety.

Now, imagine just for one moment that this story was metaphorically about you. I do not want you to focus so much on the reincarnation, but more so on the transformation that occurred within the story. How would you feel if you had a similar transformation in your life…one that required you to depart from your current life to acquire the beauty, the abundance and the unconditional love that only a pure and open heart can know? This is, in essence, what happens when you experience a rebirth of the Soul and an awakening to your Inner Child who has yearned to take its rightful place in your life.

An exercise that truly works for me is a deep breathing meditation that allows me to clear all the channels in my mind, body and spirit so that I am open to receive the blessings that can help to transform my present moment. It enables me to visualize and to see clearly the potential that exists around me. Just like the abovementioned story, any person who is willing to open the channels of the Universal Flow will become a recipient to the clear path of pure love and abundance. This state of inner joy and happiness can be experienced when you have a heightened sense of awareness and a genuine willingness to create the much-needed transformation in your life. But are you ready to release that part of you that no longer serves you or your life?

Sometimes it is difficult to walk away from the emotions, people and even things that we have grown attached to in life because we have become so accustomed to having them in our lives even if their presence does not benefit us. How so?

It is our fear and often our ignorance of not understanding how these emotions block our full potential and often cloud our creative side from expressing its power.

Just like a child who acts out to gain attention, we, too, have our tantrums that often cause distress for all involved. If you are feeling agony or detachment in a relationship, you can change the dynamics by changing your perception and switch gears.

What if knowing that you can achieve a greater sense of purpose, a greater sense of love, and a greater sense of wholeness if you were just willing to open your heart to the brilliant light that resides inside you? There’s an old adage about if you love someone, set them free and if she was meant for you, she will come back to you. The same holds true for all relationships. The rebirth of your Soul can only happen when you let go of whatever is holding you back.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites

Most conscientious partners want the best for their newborn child, adopted child and even their “furry” four-legged kids. How you choose to set up the emotional environment for bringing baby into the world is not only one of the dynamics to the structure of your child’s emotional awareness, but the essential factor to ensuring your child’s overall wellbeing.

Following are some keys to implement into your daily life to create a nurturing and loving environment:

• Really loving someone… Rod Stewart sings, “Have I told you lately that I love you?” I cannot stress enough the importance of telling your child both audibly and affectionately how much you love him or her. When you touch your child’s life with warmth and genuine care for his wellbeing, you are growing the bonds that will last a lifetime and beyond.
• Getting in touch with your own inner child… Another key element to creating a wholesome, value-filled life for both you and your children is to learn how to love from the inside out. How do you do this? You do this by learning to love all the parts of you – from the innocence of your own youth to the present moment of who you are right now. When you learn how to forgive yourself for your past indiscretions and your past hurts, and you learn how to embrace the experiences of your core being, you are quintessentially developing the whole you to become the best you.
• Plan your escape! Have fun! If each day in your life was filled with constant seriousness, what a mundane way it would be to live. For you and your child’s sake, it is imperative to let go and cut loose from time to time. Take an hour, a day or however much time you can devote to spending “special” time with you and your child (or children). Plan a trip to the zoo, maybe a day out in an adventure in your own backyard, or perhaps just some time to talk about what is on your minds. It is amazing how imaginative children can be. Perhaps you can ask your child (both young and old alike) what you she or he would like to do? Keep the dialogue open at all times.
• Learning to be perceptive… What is your child thinking? It is difficult enough sometimes to imagine what your significant other is thinking, harder still to comprehend what is going through your child’s mind. But, with the right set of intuitive skills and conscious awareness, you can begin to pick up on the signals that your child is emitting. The best way to develop your perceptual or intuitive skills is to learn how to hone in on what appears to be usual behavior of your child compared to strange or sudden changes in her behavior patterns. You do this by making yourself aware and paying careful attention to what your child is trying to say to you, verbally/non-verbally, physically or emotionally. Most often, it is in the silence of our environments that we become keenly aware and begin to perceive these patterns.

Overall, relationships on any level and at any age require work. Not tedious work, just a commitment to be prepared for anything and the willingness to both lead and compromise so that you can create a safe and loving environment for all concerned. All of what I have just said should be approached with love in your heart. For when there is love, it is felt and appreciated by all.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites